heart-opening Quaker meeting

(January 10, 2016) It is First Day, Sunday, Quaker meeting. Today is his first visit to my holy place, my sacred ground. Only a couple of people are in the meeting room when we arrive and there is something so vulnerable and intimate about that. I’ve learned by now that when I bring friends here …

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new year new me

January 1, 2016 In a wood-floor room with huge windows that look upon the meandering river below, the dancers make a circle. Everybody has a partner and we will progress around the circle, switching partners; no eye will be unlooked upon. I have been coming to these dances long enough that I finally feel comfortable, …

joy, and undoing the knowing

(12-28-15) My friend unwraps Reese’s bells with the greatest deliberation and sets them before himself on the counter. One, two, three, four. He stuffs them all into his mouth at once because they taste better that way. Tears roll down my cheeks, my abs ache, I can’t breathe. I laugh every time just remembering it. …

last of Gethsemani

I may already be back at home, but here are two last shorts about Gethsemani, my friends. I have noticed when I do the things I think I “should” do but do not really want to do, I feel stifled; I want to climb out of my skin. I sit, squirmy, through Christmas Eve mass, …

12-27-15, Gethsemani

there are many things I know here – where to get coffee in the morning, the sound of the church bells ringing, the tune of Our Father. but there are many things I want to ask, like is there an actual monk ringing those church bells in the service? and, why are there so many …

Christmas at the Abbey of Gethsemani, 12-22 & 12-23

I have begun a quest to write for 90 days in a row (and if I miss a day, make it up the next). It's similar to the 12-Step "90 in 90 days" motto (90 meetings in 90 days). It's been enjoyable and rewarding even just for myself, but sometimes I want to share what …

reasonable expectations = not being crazy (or driving yourself mad)

My "editor in chief," as I like to call him (reader of essays, emails, and occasionally even texts, for when I'm trying particularly hard to sound like a polite and sane person) took issue with the second-to-last line of the previous (okay, and only) post. To save you some time, I'll re-quote it: "I can never live …